Thoughts

Three years something ago, I took a leap and jumpstarted my life. I grabbed the opportunity to go out of my comfort zone and face a new life full of probabilities and doubts. Also, the possibility of failure was looming ahead. But I was determined to go out of the world and experience the working life and be on my own in a city full of strangers. I took a job working as a computer programmer even when I knew that I didn’t know anything about programming except those of what I remembered during a class I took in highschool and a minor course in college. I didn’t actually know what was in store for me except that the company promised that there would be a 4-5-month training wherein only a selected few are able to enter and pass. I learned a lot during the training. Not only the difficult parts like Nihongo and Technical stuff. I learned to program a bit. I learned to write in katakana, hiragana and a bit of kanji. I learned a lot of Nihongo words. I could write and understand a bit of Nihongo. It was a really exhausting training wherein we were required to come to the office by 8 A.M. and leave at almost 8 to 9 P.M. A lot of times I wanted to give up and just go home. The only thing that stopped me is that I didn’t want to go home a failure. I wanted to be a winner. I wanted to be able to say I succeeded even when it wasn’t really my field. And so, here I am, 3 years after. Contemplating if I should continue working at my current company. I have long passed my contract bond. I think I’ve proven that I haven’t failed. Now, I wanna pursue other fields. Not as difficult as the road I took, but a more fun and experience-worthy path. Should I? Would I? Am I sure? Do I have the guts? These are some of the questions I usually ask myself nowadays. I may have these doubts but a thought keeps insisting in my mind. “I don’t want to be trapped behind a desk anymore.” Should I?

On Things That Scare Me

Fear. It is a constant entity in our lives. We live each and everyday of our lives being afraid of something. It doesn’t really cripple us but sometimes it affects our decisions and what paths we take.

 

I like to think of myself as someone who is courageous and doesn’t get scared much. But I do have some fears. Some things nobody really knows unless they know me intimately. Continue reading